Just know that I love you. I love you with all of my fucked up, piece of shit heart.
I hear you’ve been telling all your friends that you’re done with me like you always knew things wouldn’t work out. And I’ve been hearing things from people that I don’t want to talk to, like it matters who you’re sleeping with now. Can I erase from my mind anything that you said or any time that we spent with each other? I don’t want to waste away another cell on a memory when you’re just another meaningless lover. Forget the nights that we spent laughing until the morning on your bedroom floor without a thought about your roommate asleep down the hall. Forget the days we’d waste in bed, tangled, the smoke still on your breath, undressed and pinning you up to the wall. I swore I heard you talking when I was tossing in my sleep. You were always trying to walk in circles around me. I was out one night when I saw you and you froze me where I stood. I would hate you if I could. I would hate you but I’m not finished yet. Even you, up on that pedestal, the time will come when you will deconstruct yourself and remake what you are. When it does you’ll remember me and the words I spoke and wonder how you ever could have strayed so far.
fun game to play at the movies: not bringing your fucking baby
Dowsing - I Don’t Even Care Anymore
I’m happy at least that’s what I tell myself
It’s day to day and that’s cutting it too close
Do I want to live my life to it’s full potential
Do I want to live my life now that you’re gone
Yeah, I think so
Let’s talk about the old days,
let’s talk about your friends,
let’s talk about the summer
and how you wish it wouldn’t end.
Did I forget to tell you,
how pretty you looked in that dress?
In the first time that I saw you,
you cleaned the mess from my head.
And I don’t mind,
if we take our time.
No, I don’t mind
How your body still remembers things you told it to forget.
But did you know?
I hold my breath through every tunnel,
and wish I could get over this feeling of slipping under.
But I never get that far.
Everything’s so uncertain.
Can’t find the right direction.
You look in the mirror and tell me you see clear.
I lie, say I can see me, but I can’t get past this feeling.
I’d talk, but no one listens.
Can’t make my own decisions.